|
I think I have forgotten how to have a real conversation. I don't want to leave that sentence by itself, but it seems I have forgotten how to write as well. ----- I'm sick of my one-sentence entries that make sense to no one else. I am sick of them because they are only for me. I could say this diary was for myself until I was blue in the face and it still wouldn't be true. At one point, maybe near the beginning, it might have been but now all I use it for is a meterstick to judge myself with. The more hits I get, the more people like me and the better I am as a person. ----- It turns out that until recently, my beginnings have had a 50% middle N deficiency. I am not funny. ----- Can you see mine? ----- cont'd: I will throw in a random phrase because I like it, I was thinking about it a lot, or as an answer to a question. ----- I intentionally get myself in trouble. It gets me attention. If things seem to be calming down in my life, I will say or do something really stupid, usually on purpose. Sometimes these things only cause trouble for me, but more often than not, I will manage to make someone else's life hell for a little while as well. I hate myself for it, but I don't know what else to do. ----- Look, I can victimize myself like everyone else. ----- An audible running commentary of day to day life from my perspective would get me killed within a week. ----- I know a little about everything and fake the rest. I can't see myself getting very far in life, aside from a potential career as a perenial Jeopardy contestant. Even then, though, you are only allowed to play for five days before they ask you to leave. ===== Thirty-nine minutes of something (different?) |