Tuesday, December 25th, 2001 | 11:58
you would cry too if it happened to you.

Surprise. No surprise!


Last year, my mother bought me a bottle of cologne. I thanked her politely, even though it smelled horrible. As recently as a month ago, she asked me whether I wore it. I hadn't touched it and that's what I told her. Can you predict the ending? If you thought I got anything I wanted............you have obviously never spent Christmas at my house. However, if you guessed that I got three times the amount of Rancid Odour cologne, you can have it.

On the upside, I did get a miniature one of those steel-balls-on-a-string dealies that are supposed to be in every important businessmans corner office. The best part is that it doesn't work.


"WOW! That's some pretty nice scenery!" -My aunt from Toronto while watching the new Britney Spears video. The kicker is that she was actually talking about the scenery.


The amount of holiday spirit on commercial radio is beyond nauseating, but Cheech and Chong can make anything all right.


Artificial Lifeform

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