Thursday, March 13th, 2003 | 14:11
I am a sedated Indiana Jones.

With all the distractions in this world, it's a wonder I remember to breathe. I'll bet Martha Stewart shits pastels. A man opens a letter and says, "Oh, I've got another colonoscopy coming up." He takes it in stride. I spent this vacation coughing up a lung. I'm going to sell it on ebay instead of donating it to science or the lungless. It is truly all all about the Benelyn. Buckley's doesn't taste as bad as they claim but it gives me chest pains that only a handful of Advil can cure. Watch me run and watch me sleep. If you really cared, you'd sell your soul.

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