The night before last, I dreamt I was driving a Volkswagen Golf too fast along some huge highway. It had been raining and the asphalt was black as death... or something (you know). I was shifting using the knob that lets you recline the seats, and I was having a hell of a time getting it into third. I was taking corners at 140, whizzing past signs stating the 65 mph speed limit. I lost traction and my tires started hissing. I passed under a bridge and the familiar screech of dry pavement hit me just before I hit the guardrail. I woke up wondering how the hell I was going that fast in a Golf and where I had driven to get speeds listed in miles per hour. I think I might have been driving on the left, too. ----- Lest night, I dreamt someone had sent me back to redo eighth grade math. The worst part was that I had to redo all of eighth grade as well. My biggest worry was that they were sending me from grade eight straight up to grade twelve afterwards. ===== narcoleptic sex

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