Tuesday, December 19th, 2000 | 23:09
Even murders start with little steps

Things have never been so swell

And I have never been so well -Nirvana (You've Got No Right)


I've been thinking


I'm into self-mutilation. But I (almost) never hurt myself directly. Instead, I put myself in situations where other people can hurt me. Inside, I really want them to, or I wouldn't say the things I do and pick fights with people with more big friends than I have. But no one ever does. It dies�that is one weird typo�what I meant to say is it disappoints me every time people walk by and only say things.

On a somewhat related note-I was walking back to class today and I saw Jean-Pascal Faubert (there can't be that many of them in Ottawa, so feel free to find his number and leave menacing messages on his answering machine. (In case you had no idea, he attacked (yes, I am justified to call them attacks) me (physically, verbally) everyday in gym class last year and continues with the verbal this year (who takes gym if they don't have to).) walking towards me. He didn't see me. I crossed the hall and hit him hard with my shoulder. He spun a little and called me a queer, but I didn't hear it. I heard myself cheering. I felt better. Not great, because I still remember, but good.


I heard the song "Outside" by Aaron Lewis done acoustically this morning. I had never heard it before and it's been in my head all day. I had no idea who it was and the DJ said it was Fred Durst and Staind, which caused me to shiver uncontrollably (I think of Fred Durst as a (creepy) monkey (one of the lesser-evolved kinds) in a red hat). But then I thought for a second and realized that Monkeyman CANNOT be that melodic and figured that it had to have been the guy from Stained (Aaron Lewis). I got the song from the friendly neighbourhood (illegal) music dealer (Nappy (If you object to the cutefying of the word Napster, bite my arsey warsey.))


I watched Teletubbies this morning while waiting for my dad to get out of the shower. I can objectively say that Teletubbies is the best television show EVER MADE. They were playing with snowballs and it was the funniest thing I have ever heard/seen. The writing is creative genius.


My MSN (yes, it sucks. Goddamn peer pressure) nickname at the moment is "ugly as sin". People don't seem to like that very much. I do.



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