This just in: Jimmy Fallon's hair is funny.
In a related story, Tina Fey is Hot with a capital H.
Masturbation with muscle relaxant.
"Do you know where we are?" asked the new university students, standing at the corner of Bank and Fifth.
"Is this the 7 bus?" asked the man who shaved this morning.
"Is this the stop?" asked the group heading to the Liquor Dome.
"Have I had too much to drink?" said the braless woman in the black strapless minidress.
Everyone had somewhere to go tonight
"You're less likely to get lung cancer smoking a pack of cigarettes a day than if you smoke the equivalent in marijuana."
Self improvement is meditation? Guided masturbation?