Sunday, September 30th, 2001 | 0:52
Sunshine of Your Love on cello

This just in: Jimmy Fallon's hair is funny.

In a related story, Tina Fey is Hot with a capital H.


Masturbation with muscle relaxant.
Ooooohhh, cold crotch!

"Do you know where we are?" asked the new university students, standing at the corner of Bank and Fifth.

"Is this the 7 bus?" asked the man who shaved this morning.

"Is this the stop?" asked the group heading to the Liquor Dome.

"Have I had too much to drink?" said the braless woman in the black strapless minidress.


Everyone had somewhere to go tonight
and most had very nice cars.

"You're less likely to get lung cancer smoking a pack of cigarettes a day than if you smoke the equivalent in marijuana."
"But if you smoke a pack's worth of marijuana a day, you're not likely to care."


Self improvement is meditation? Guided masturbation?



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